Wednesday, 9 January 2013

A Pool of Dirt

I don't know how to start it all, but I just finish my last post yesterday and my computer is already off, getting ready to go to bed, (oh yeah it's 11:30 pm) when I heard a loud noise from the second floor of our house. I suddenly realize it's my brother-in-law. I don't know but it urges me to go upstairs to check on what's going on.

There I saw my brother-in-law crying, somehow I already know what's going on but I stood there and listen to what he is about to say. He was pointing fingers to my younger sister (his wife) about her infidelity which my sister doesn’t want to admit. It really hurts to say this and it should not be coming from me but his accusation is true.

It hurts to see my sister being tortured like this, but I can't really take sides, deep inside me I will always take my sisters side whether she is wrong or right but this time I can’t say that out load because she was the one to blame in all this mess and her mistake was really something unforgivable. People would understand if she is not legally married but she is legally married with a kid so there is really no excuse for finding another man.

I talked to her just after her husband left and I asked her if those things are true. She lied (I know it's true because I saw it myself), she told me that her and this man with some other people just inter the hotel, they were not alone, I want to slap him real hard but she was already crying so I just hold my temper.

No matter how much I press her to admit the truth she just won’t listen and she really did put in her tiny brain that she will never say sorry. Sigh! 

I was really reserving this so I can write it some other day but I just can't really put it off. I feel like I need to write it so I can release all the negative energy surrounding this matter.

I never claim to be so clean like a white cloth, I have all my mistakes and I know that most of them are unforgivable but I still know what is right and wrong.  I know that knowing what is black and white doesn’t mean I have the right to judge other people. Just that in this case I just can’t help but react because in the very first place it’s my family who’s on the line and to top it all it’s not just us who is affected. It may affect the future family I might have in the future. I hate people who gave other brand to other people just because of what other family member did but I have no control of them. My fear is to be branded as a woman who can’t be trusted just because my sister is someone who sleeps around with other man while she’s married.

I don’t know I just feel like shit…

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